Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
