You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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