apparently the secret to your success is patron
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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