umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
