she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
