just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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