she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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