but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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