The maid of honor just puked.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
