if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
