You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
