I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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