Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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