i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
