Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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