is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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