Need sex. Gaining weight.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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