we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also, beer. Big fan.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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