I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
