Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I forget how to act sober
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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