I'll bet she douches with gravy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
