It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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