I just saw a hot homeless man
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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