dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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