the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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