Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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