if i can run in heels then i can drive
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
