reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
