my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
