this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
