that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
