I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
