Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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