people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
