at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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