I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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