Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
