my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
