she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
