I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
