I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My breasts were aching with rage.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
