hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
