We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was like eating out sand paper
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
