Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
