I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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