the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
