I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sarcasm needs its own font
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
