I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
