So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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