So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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