yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
