She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
pray to the hookup gods
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
