We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
