thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
